Introduction

Welcome to my blog article on Blended Families, where we unpack the importance of navigating the many complexities of blended families in order to ensure that strong, harmonious and healthy relationships are developed and maintained. A blended family is a family consisting of one or more children raised by a step parent and a remarried biological parent. As new relationships are formed and responsibilities and expectations are established, blended families may encounter significant difficulties. The quality of marriage, parent-child, and sibling relationships in blended families, as well as the adjustment of children in mixed households, have been the main subjects of research. An effective adjustment to living in a blended family is largely dependent on the nature of the relationships within the family and the role that step parents play.  

Understanding the Dynamics

The mixed family development seven-stage model is one of the most comprehensive models. Members of blended families first go through a “fantasy stage” when they have irrational expectations. Second, because of the practical difficulties the family members face every day, their aspirations are shattered during the “immersion stage.” Third, in the “awareness stage,” the family members make an effort to resolve their doubts and misunderstandings. During the fourth stage, there are voiced disagreements and efforts at compromise and resolution, which is called “mobilization.” The fifth stage, often known as the “action stage,” begins with new agreements that are the product of the negotiating endeavors and serve as a solid basis for growth. Sixth, blended family members are able to build strong relationships with one another during the “contact stage.” Finally, the blended family ultimately enters the “resolution stage,” during which time it is described as a strong, functional family.  

Communication is Key

Open and efficient communication is essential to ensure that your blended family is a success. As you adjust to several family dynamics in your lives – step parenting, co-parenting, remarriage, and new parenting – you and your spouse have a lot to discuss. Explain to your children that the new spouse is a new family member who will love and support them, not a replacement for either of their parents. Building trust involves acknowledging others and communicating with respect. To support open communication and foster family growth, you and other family members need to listen politely, compassionately, and with respect to your spouse or child when they speak. Show your children that listening is an important part of communication in the family and in life in general, even if they have different opinions. Teach your children the value of empathy and good compromise, emphasising that addressing the needs of others comes before your own interests or correctness.

Dealing with Sibling Jealousy

One of the main issues in a blended family is jealousy. The success of your blended family depends not only on you, but also on how well you handle the many types of jealousy that may surface in your new family. Jealousy can arise between siblings or between a step parent and their step child. So, here are some tips for overcoming jealousy in a blended family:

1. Maintain Communication - Making the time to express your emotions will help prevent jealousy from creeping in. It is critical that the parents work together to develop some ground rules before presenting an overview of the ground rules to the children.
2. Be Consistent - When it comes to step siblings, the term “rivalry” takes on a completely different meaning. Consistency for the children may be achieved by creating basic family norms and teaching them how to be in a blended family. The answer is to establish and uphold the law. Even if you may see one child more than another, there should be no favoritism.
3. Have Frequent Family Meetings - A wonderful method to give the children a sense of belonging to something greater than themselves is through family meetings. This is an excellent time to discuss finances and house rules. We frequently utilise family gatherings as a strategy to assist divorcing families in looking ahead rather than backward.
4. Be Aware - Observe everyone’s actions closely. Children might feel territorial when they have to share a place with someone they hardly know. In the event that you are forced to assign stepchildren to a room together, make an effort to find them separate areas. Treat this room with respect, and ensure that everyone else in the home does the same.